That little girl who got her heart broken at a young age never expected for it to happen, but as a result she blanketed herself in fear and hid. Maybe her father never showed to pick her up, maybe that boy from her class didn't like her back. Maybe he did and then broke her heart. Maybe she watched her mother be beaten and verbally assaulted, or maybe she loss someone close to her. Maybe she was the one abused. Maybe she was picked on for the way she looked and because of what she didn't have. Maybe she deserved what was happening to her. The little girl living in these events never expected to feel this kind of hurt; she never thought she'd have to heal from this kind of pain, she never expected to have to wear these bandages.. .after all she was just a child. . .But before anyone knew to nurture this little girl and her wounds, she grew up
. . . . .
Hurt, scared, and alone with everyone around her. Walking around with an umbrella down a long sun shining road, she couldn't even feel the warmth of the sun. She could not hear the birds chirping, she couldn't feel the fresh breeze that blew her way. This umbrella was her protector. Instead of enjoying the scenery around her and holding tight to the sunshine that would soon turn to a dark sky; she focused on what was important: not stepping in gum(not going to places that reminded her of her hurt). being sure that as she walked that the passing cars didn't splash her with water(not allowing people to take advantage of the fact that she was broken), giving off an aura making sure that the people walking around her knew to not to mess with her.(allowing low self esteem to dictate her beauty). This umbrella had curtains. Curtains to make sure that no one had access to things attached to her. Especially her heart.
This labor day i was thinking of a post to "thank" my heart for laboring so hard. For putting up with all things "Eran" and for not hating Eran for the things that Eran allowed in to bruise it. This girl that you read about is in each and everyone us, simply someone that has been hurt before; and as a result i just want you know that you do not have to keep your heart a prisoner just because of what you fear it will go through, The things we faced as children and in growing are things that shaped us into who we are, things that taught our heart how to "beat" to the rhythm that the drum of life plays. These things taught our heart to how to love and forgive and ultimately showed our heart how to repair itself beyond shattering. Sure we've had our hearts broken, sure it took time to repair, sure it hurt like hell but guess what it never stopped. May have felt like it wanted to but what it has been through so far is what has strengthened it.
Often times we use our pain as a crutch and we allow it to keep us crippled, not for attention but because we are afraid to walk without the fear of falling. We are so afraid that that the hurt will return. We dread the feeling that someone will snatch off the bandage of un-nurtured wounds. We wallow in the fact that no one has ever tried to help us out of our "condition". Your heart is stronger than you think AS ARE YOU!!! It's a given: Hurt Hurts, and as unbearable as it may be for you to progress from it. . . . Your heart has not been broken beyond repair. You don't have to be that fearful woman just because you were hurt as a child (not in age but by day-- everyday you get older and stronger, You become an adult over what you conquer.) No matter how many times you have been hurt, and no matter how harsh that hurt may have been You have a heart that continues to repair. Don't believe me? Think about what used to send you trembling, what broke you--now think about how how much you've progressed from it; and whether or not you built a wall as a result of it or become stronger. The pain may not be gone but you are healing. Youve progressed when understand that it may not have been a mistake what they did to you, but your stronger than the pain it casued.
Don't you ever be to afraid to enjoy the sunshine, let the breeze blow through your hair and dance to the chirping bird's music. You don't have to be what happened to you. . . . . .You have a heart that's in tune to your pain, and God that knows what you can handle. Be Great or Be Great Honneh there's a whole world waiting for you to embrace the goodness that's out there for you. Remember what hurt your heart and then remember what YOU LET hurt your heart. . . dont allow what hurt your heart cause you to forget how to love and don't allow what YOU LET hurt your heart be the cause of your future hurts and inability to hold on to love. Your laboring heart wont give out on you. . . keep it moving so that it can keep pumping. It'll repair. I promise.
Get rid of the umbrella sweetheart. . . it doesn't go very well with your outfit!!!!